According to a groundbreaking new study published Monday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association, it is impossible to lose weight using NHS or ADA diets, no one has ever lost a single pound of fat through diet or exercise, and those attempting to do so are advised to abandon their weight loss goals immediately.
“Our findings indicate that if you’re trying to lose weight, you will fail—and that’s because you can’t, no one has, and you need to stop trying because it will never happen,” said Dr. Rena Wing, lead author of the report. “You could work out every day and eat nothing, and you still wouldn’t lose an ounce. And the sooner you throw up your hands and make peace with that fact, the better off you’ll be.”
More on this story here.
Eddie
3 comments:
Marvelous read!
Jeff
There are other very funny "Spoof" articles on The Onion - great stuff.
Ray
at last The Onion writes an absolutely factual sentence! :-) when it comes to using conventional wisdom for weight control, "the sooner you throw up your hands and make peace with that fact [that CW diet wisdom is BS], the better off you’ll be.” before i discovered LCHF, i had been chasing fat loss "the old-fashioned way" for a long time with classic weight-yoyo results....
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